How much is too much?

Tue, Oct 12, 2010

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Last weekend I took my kids camping. It’s something I grew up doing with my parents and so far, I’ve really enjoyed sharing that experience with my kids. Definitely father/son/daughter bonding time.

On the way up north to our camping destination, we stopped at Jimmy Johns. They had some of those random life lesson-type story murals on the walls. One of which caught my eye. It was the story of the American investment banker and the Mexican fisherman. Have you heard it? I won’t list out the entire story, but the lesson is pretty simple: Live a full life, but don’t let greed run your life. Focus on what’s really important to you.

It’s a lesson I think more often than not falls on deaf ears in today’s world. We’re so focused on winning more business. Making more money. Buying a bigger house. Taking that next step. That we fail to sit back and really think about what’s important to us.

Think about it for a minute.

What really makes you happy?

For me, it’s pretty simple. I love spending time with my wife and family. I love writing. And, I love meeting and helping people. A year ago, when I made the difficult decision to quit my “day job” and go into business for myself, I asked myself, “why am I doing this?” The answers were familiar: To spend a little more time with my family; To have more “creative control”; and to work with people I admire, respect and truly enjoy spending time with.

A year in, I’d say I’m doing OK on those fronts. I have the flexibility to spend time with my family–on a timetable that makes sense for me. I do the kind of work I want to do (by and large). And I work with an incredible list of clients and partners–people a few years ago I would never have dreamt I’d be working for and with. Truly.

So, what more do I want?

That’s the million dollar question, right?

If I scaled my business, I might be able to make a bit more money. I could attempt to build and grow an agency of my own. But, where would that get me? Just like the fisherman, I’d have money to retire on, but I’d be right back in the same situation I was in a few years ago, right?

So, as you think about that next job or career move, I might suggest thinking (and I mean *really* thinking) about the following questions:

* How much money do you really need to get by? Think about your family. Think about retirement. Think about the day-to-day needs you need to meet. How much do you really need?

* How important is balance in your life? For some this isn’t an issue. For me, it is. I need a decent amount of balance. I need to see and hang out with my kids for more than 30 minutes a day. That makes me a better person. And, it makes me a better counselor to my clients, too.

* What do you really want to do with your life? The age-old grade school question–but, it’s still an important one. For most people, the answer to this is rarely that I want to be the owner of a large agency of the senior vice president of a Fortune 500 company. Think about it–and adjust your plan accordingly.

* What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? An important question to ask because it should get you closer to the “what you really want to do” question. Focusing on the bigger picture has a way of bringing the day-to-day details into focus a bit more.

* How much time do you spend on your “other” interests? Think about your hobbies. How much time do you devote to them? Hobbies are typically the areas that we have the most passion around. For me, it’s golf, writing and music. I’ve poured an awful lot into writing the last few years–and not nearly enough into golf and music. I’d like to see that change this coming year, just a bit.

The bottom line is this: Take stock of how you spend your time each day. Each week. Each month. If you don’t like what you see, work to change it. Focus on what matters to you–and you only. That’s the only way you’ll find your professional nirvana.

Note: Photo courtesy of mananetwork via FlickR Creative Commons.

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Love this post Arik. I 'm so satisfied with the work/life balance I've created for myself owning my own business. Getting to do things I enjoy makes working hard so much more rewarding itself. I work hard, but I'm not overwhelmed - that's awesome. I will add to one of your points though - about how much money you need to get by. To be frank, I don't think everyone wants to just get by, so I think you need to decide how much money you want to have. Having work/life balance doesn't have to mean just getting by. I think a lot of us strive to be prosperous AND enjoy outside interests. Why can't we have it all?

There is a pretty big misnomer that the bigger you are, the more money you make. Sure, that might be true if you scale, make money before the average three to five years, and don't reinvest the money into the growth. But there is something to be said for keeping the money you make to yourself. The idea that we have to be big to make money and have work/life balance is baloney.

I feel exactly like the fisherman. There's a lot to be said for a life that's rich, right? I just think there's way more to life than just your "day job." We all have passions outside our jobs--why wouldn't we want to spend more time investing ourselves in those?

It's been a pretty hard lesson for me...I found I built a company I wasn't really passionate about, but it allowed me the freedom and cash to build a new business (coming Q2!) that I AM excited about and totally hip on investing in...inside and outside of my personal life. It sounds like you've already arrived at that understanding and I applaud you for it. Too many people go through life living to work.

Good post. The quest for work-life balance is an ongoing journey for so many of us. Just when you think you have it mastered, it seems to slip away.

Arik - an insightful post that brings forth the questions that *really do* matter. The quest for balance is so critical to you and to many of us that make that leap to do things differently, to build a better legacy. When our lens is focused on "more" we lose the sense of what matters right there in front of us. A year in, I'm proud to see your growth and champion your strength, skills and talent.

I don't recall who said it, but one thing has always stood out to me when trying to decide on work/life/success balance, and what counts as each.

"You can only ski behind one speedboat."

Materialism is great, and success can buy us all the things we crave when we don't have them - but is that truly success?

After 17 years into my career, I've finally begun asking myself these questions. The past two years have been filled with changes personally and professionally. Some of it has felt glorious. Some, painful. But I've learned so much about who I am, and I have defined what I want for myself in life. And now I'm walking the path every day to get there. It feels fantastic.

Good for you, Trent. I think some people get caught with their heads down for so many years they wake up one day and they kinda forget who they've become. I didn't want to wake up one day like that--and I think I was one my way. Then again, all this is one-day-at-a-time type stuff. What works for me now may not 10 years from now.

Thanks for the comment!

Great post Arik,
I wish people would spend more time thinking about how much is enough, and the other questions you mentioned. Too many people just get blown around, and don't live on purpose, because they don't think through these steps to what truly matters in life.

And purpose is so different for everyone. I know my views on work/life balance are probably pretty out of the ordinary--but they work for me. For now. That's all I can go on at this point, right?

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